I’ve been plagiarized!
How many of you have seen the recent film “Role Models?” (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0430922/) You’ll notice it had five writers working on the script. In film lingo, “and” means the two worked together on the project. The “ & “ means the second person re-wrote the script. When you see something like this:
| Writing credits
(WGA) |
||
| Paul Rudd | (screenplay) & | |
| David Wain | (screenplay) & | |
| Ken Marino | (screenplay) and | |
| Timothy Dowling | (screenplay) | |
| Timothy Dowling | (story) and | |
| W. Blake Herron | (story) (as William Blake Herron) |
…it means the script was written by a committee and is likely to suck since we all know that a group of people can’t really do anything. Don’t believe me? Have three people order a pizza and try to get everyone what they want. It doesn’t work. Someone will have to give.
I digress.
What follows is an excerpt from a story I wrote in early (February) 2006, for my final “Fiction Seminar” course, my senior year of my undergraduate program.
“Morning, I slow-drift into the Starbucks on the corner. Despite everything I know about Starbucks, it still means only one thing to me: coffee.
The sights and sounds are all alien to me, but I can smell coffee. I do not like coffee, but I need it. Entering the place, I find tall men, in black wool coats, scarves and newspapers. They drink things, the mill about. Women, hawk faces with too much make-up, too much perfume, like some sort of poisonous flower. So oddly attractive, you are drawn to it, and when you touch it or breath it in, the trap is sprung. The thick pollen sets in your innards and festers. You’ll never be free of it.
There is a line and a woman-girl in a Starbucks uniform takes my order well before I get to the register. Efficiency. Blinking the tentacles of Chanel from my eyes, I turn and reply.
“Medium coffee please.”
Moments later I’m at the register. A boy-man stares at me. “You had the venti?”
“What? I don’t speak latin.”
“What?” He stares.
“Venti. Sounds latin. I guess it could be Spanish. I could probably speak Spanish.”
He looks at me.
“What, Sir?”
“You know, Spanish? I could probably speak it. Like, hola, gracias, su casa es me banyo, that sorta shit.”
“Sir, did you order a venti coffee?”
“I ordered a medium coffee.”
“That’s what venti means.”
“No it doesn’t. I lied to you before. I speak a little Latin. Venti means to come. I doubt it means medium in Spanish either.” He stared. I went on.
“Come to think of it, medium means medium in Latin. At least, medi, medius, mediam.”
Behind me, a voice. “What hell is your problem buddy?”
I turn to face a tall man in a black wool long coat. He looks, funny to me, so I half smile.
“My problem is that this kid is making up words. And I’m dying.”
I put three dollars on the counter, grab my medium coffee and leave.”
The story was submitted to the instructor, Antonia Rose Logue, and shared with ten other students for their review and critique. I also published the original version of the story on LiveJournal (Feb. 6th, 2006 at 2:38 PM). Considering the copies that were made and distributed for the class, there is no end to possibilities of who saw the original story.
Watch the film “Role-Models.”
Tell me, then, honestly, if they stole my scene. Then, tell me what I can do about it…