The feature was in 3D, closer and closer to real-life. Scratch that, it was better than real-life. It was high resolution too.

The story, I’ve avoided since I learned of Lewis Carroll’s reportedly inappropriate infatuation with a girl for whom he wrote the tale. Once again, real life lacks the luster of fantasy, no? Anyhow, I can’t give an accurate comparison of the screenplay to the book. I can however, comment on the film’s native attributes. Those being plot, pacing, production design and acting.

For perhaps the first time in my life, I’m keeping my comments to a minimum, however. The film was good. I’ve forgotten all about the word-play that pestered the novel, plagued the dialogue and made mimsy gribblesnitch of our so delicate english language. I, for one, like people who make up words. It shows a certain integrity of character – their determination to be understood, despite the limitations of their native tongue, which ever one that may be.

I’d forgotten all about the Mighty Jabberwocky and the Vorpal sword, both of which caused a rush of memories. I remembered Dungeons and Dragons treasure hordes, each time the player sorted through the pile of gold and gems and prizes, they secretly hoped to find the awe inspiring and rueful Vorpal Sword. I thought instantly about the old 1977 film entitled Jabberwocky. I thought about my lascivious 9th Grade english instructor, a Mr. Narry*, who seemed to delight in making the cheerleaders in class stumble through paragraph after paragraph of nonsensical words (he also delighted in having them interpret the lustful passages in Romeo and Juliet – thus earning his moniker, Naughty Narry and in retrospect, considering Lewis Carroll’s predilections, perhaps it’s best that Naughty Narry took us on our virgin exploration of the Jabberwocky).

All the while, the 3D screen was bludgeoning me with scenes of wonder and absurdity, voice talent that was so accurate and tightly cast, and a ruinous host of characters ghostly-familiar and yet disturbingly alien.  Alice in Wonderland was another of Tim Burton’s triumphs of the imagination. Alas, this voyage is one to undertaken on the big screen. No matter how large your television (and come on, lads, I know you buy some big ones), nothing can compare to the high-resolution, 3D experience that is Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. Not even real-life.

*names are always changed to protect the guilty, innocent and misguided

While I, and perhaps other members of the audience were expecting something more akin to a mystery, I found myself delighting in the pacing. The lightning quick scene-to-scene action slowly but surely redefined Holmes and the indefatigable Watson. There were moments in the film where I felt they were more like Dr. Hunter S. Thompson and His Attorney, than the legendary sleuth.

The dismissal of layered mystery and sub-plot worked for this action adventure film. Sherlock, it seems, has been re-invented.

Reader’s will notice I always gloss over the acting. Well, I’m not changing my pattern. Downey Jr. was excellent, as well as Jude Law, both tried and true performers. I expected no less. In fact, considering their past roles, this might have been a screw-off project for them. Supporting cast was adequate. (Sidenote: I’ve heard rumors that Brad Pitt is cast as Moriarty – dashing my own aspirations – while Pitt has performed some excellent roles, it is my belief that he needs heavy interaction with the director – how else could you explain his “blah” portrayal of Achilles, perhaps the most archetypical character in the history of man?)

A mystery/thriller necessarily must play upon the audiences limited perspective, elsewise we would figure out the mystery well ahead of the main character. Thus, during the big reveal, we see Holmes’ perception of details the audience simply wasn’t shown. That’s cheating.

All said, I loved the film, it will definitely go into my Blu-Ray collection, right next to Iron Man.

The Top Ten Anti-Heroes

10. Hellboy (Hellboy I and II)
Seems like this would be a no brainer; the dude is a demon. But he was raised by a wise old man who tried to impart upon him the virtues of being human. I don’t know if it worked, but so far Hellboy hasn’t destroyed the world. He’s a character with a conscience, but an ever lasting teenagers dis-respect of authority. Frankly, he’s a rather mild demon, throwing tantrums and the like when he doesn’t agree with his curfew. It is solely the character’s origins and his perceived destiny that make him an anti-hero. Without that demonic starting point, he might just be a loose-cannon cop movie.

9. Riddick (Pitch Black / Chronicles of Riddick)
The two Riddick films were excellent science-fiction. By no means were they Academy Award winners, both were thought provoking and well cast. The character of Riddick is the quintessential anti-hero. His origins are shrouded in mystery, stalked by the law and the unlawful, he is both prey and hunter, a perfect and simultaneous juxtaposition of dueling realties. He proves he has feelings, but has no qualms about killing. A close viewer will see that it becomes almost an act of pleasure. If not pleasure, then perhaps satisfaction. That’s about as anti-hero as it gets.

8. Corwin of Amber (Chronicles of Amber by Roger Zelazny)
Corwin, one of the Nine Princes in Amber, hails from a family of anti-heroes and outright villains. Pitted in a fatal competition against his siblings, Corwin raises an army from across dimensions to march on his family’s/brother’s castle. But Corwin remains frosty through out the endeavor. Even when his brother puts out his eyes and throws him in the dungeon, Corwin, more or less, stays composed. His love’em and leave’em attitude, his daring-do and cut-throat swordsmanship reserve his place in the Top Ten of Bad Good Guys (or is it Good Bad Guys?) forever.

7. Wolverine
Old snarl butt himself. I’ve been reading X-men comics since I was 11 (which was a long time ago). I think Wolverine is the only character who’s gotten more interesting as time progresses. Of course, he was basically an empty canvass. Introducing generic “bad asses” with amnesia is pretty heavy handed. But I think the writers did okay with it. I mean, he didn’t end up a lost prince or king of the vampires did he? Anyway, Wolverine is a cold-blooded killer with a heart of gold. He’s a perfect, if predictable and somewhat unsophisticated anti-hero. The dichotomy of his personality, the need for efficiency in his function, a sadistic bit of savagery and the idea that he is still a feeling human, make his a pretty classic anti-hero.

6. Bobba Fett
Yes, I know he’s got cool Mandalorian armor. I know he’s got a jet pack, missiles and disintegration ray. But he’s also a bounty hunter; that is, he’s a fighter-type who hunts other sentients for money, regardless of their innocence or guilt. Sure, he does good when he gets the bad guys. But how does that weight against all the innocents he’s accidentally or intentionally disintegrated? He’s a clone of few words, but if we can believe Lucas’ expanded universe, and prequels, he’s the direct clone of the last of the Mandalorian warriors… which makes me wonder why the rest of the clone army doesn’t shoot better. Bob, as he’s known to his friends, later reaches an uneasy truce with Han Solor, as years of Coyote and Roadrunner antics. Bob is a great example of a bad guy being co-opted by public opinion, and being written in to fill the role he’s expected to have. 

5. Blade 
He is a vampire, after all. I mean, half vampire. His heart is in the right place. You know, stalk the night, jack the leeches, send them flying, bursting into hot cinders and ashes, flinging stakes and blasting shotgun shells filled with…whatever the hell he puts in them. For all his grim determination and brutal efficiency, he’s sorta got a heart of gold, or at least a soft spot for strays. Perhaps it’s that so many anti-heroes see themselves, or at least, how they could or should have been in the disaffected and disenfranchised. I know when ever I’m plotting major pseudo-villainy, I always feel a pang of sympathy for the victims of my plots, almost as if I could see it from their point of view…

4. Batman
Everyone’s favorite ego-maniacal pseudo-sociopath! Yes, the Batman is a true anti-hero. But I’m afraid his high-prioced rough and tumble antics are wearing a little thin these days. The last installment of Batman’s legend was a great flick, no doubt. But here’s the thing – putting “Xxtreme” in front of the Joker doesn’t really make for a better story. Don’t get me wrong. The last Batman movie was spectacular, well played, posted, and cut. But I was watching Xxtreme Joker more than I was watching Batman. The hero has actually in this case become too “anti.” Batman’s need to dispense justice is now totally overshadowed by his lunacy. Nevertheless, he’s a classic anti-hero will will likely never escape any listing “chaotic good” characters.

3. Alex (A Clockwork Orange)
His favorite pastimes are assault, rape and thievery. He certainly sounds like a villain. But in the novel A Clockwork Orange, Alex is “our humble narrator.” His apparent inability to tell right from wrong seems to stem from a sociopathic view regarding other humans as not-quite living things. I’m not making much of a case for the hero aspect am I? Well, in this context he’s our only point of reference for the world. While he seems atypical to us, he does have droogs who are more of less, just like him. Perhaps, in fact, he’s not an anti-hero, but more appropriately, just the main character…

2. Dexter comes in at a strong #2 on the top ten anti-hero list. I mean, he is a serial killer. It’s just that he kills the bad guys. His methods are gruesomely effective, his habit are typically fastidious and he’s desperately clever. He’d be a great hero, except that, you know, he chops people up. Nevertheless, for a sociopath, he manages to balance a job, family life and relationships reasonable well. For someone who is off and on again hunted by the FBI, he manages to “take care of business.” It’s Dexter’s ethical code that keeps him in our hearts as a merely misunderstood vigilante. He uses his code to curb, control, alleviate and justify his behavior. And from an absolute justice point of view, he’s absolutely correct. But then again, he’s using his code as a shield, a catch-all excuse that allows him to indulge in his more base behaviors. He is, after all, a serial killer.  

1. Achilles – “Sing oh Muse, of the mighty Achilles, whose wrath laid low so many great and noble heroes…” For my money, Achilles of Homer’s Iliad is the number one anti-hero of all time. Indestructible, or at least, invulnerable, unparalleled martial prowess and an ego to match, Achilles temper and self-centric world view cost the lives of many Greeks. Achilles fights for the Greeks, the invaders, looking to take troy by force of arms. The excuse for the conflict, Agamemnon’s wife Helen, is ostensibly justifiable. She was, according to their cultural tradition, the wife/property of Greek king, and Paris had no rights, legal recourse, or authority to take her, gods or no. Hector, the best of all Greek men, fought on the side of the Wrong. It is precisely because he had conscious knowledge of that fact, that he was the perfect man. He was honor bound to defend his family, his home and his people. When Achilles defeated Hector and his rage drove him to drag Hector’s corpse around, we see clearly what sort of monster we’re dealing with.