Dialogue is a great way to explore a character more fully, to demonstrate how they think. No one always uses correct grammar. Some people never use it. What assumptions do you make about a person who you’ve just met who says “Shit yeah” after every sentence? What about “ain’t no way?” These are rather heavy-handed examples, obviously, but I think my point is well made: your readers will make the same assumptions upon meeting a character with a dialect or colloquial way of speaking.

As we write, we tend to think of words as filling out a structure, a framework, upon which we hang our story, if you will. The words human(characters) speak, are essentially arbitrary audio symbols that the speaker hopes the listener can interpret.

“Esyall ken?” is the same as “Are you related?” When spoken of course, they are two very different things.

Good dialogue has three traits:

1. Judicious use of exposition

Setting your entire plot in a blurted and poorly timed run-on sentence is for Saturday morning cartoons.

“Hey Good Guys! The Bad Guys, our lifelong nemeses who come from the same place as us, but were corrupted by evil forces, are scheming to steal our bananas because they believe our bananas will help them disrupt the power-stalemate and help them achieve socio-political dominance, so lets travel to banana island and defend it from their schemes immediately.”

versus

“Sidekick, did you notice something wrong with the bananas?”

“Now that you mention it, Hero, I did. I opened two peels that were hollow.”

“Indeed. And I opened a third. Supporting Character Two and Three complained about empty bananas as well.”

“Really?”

“They sure did, Sidekick. I’m going to banana island to investigate. You speak with Supporting Character Two and Three, to see what you can learn!”

2. Sounds natural

People, no matter who they are, usually have something affecting how they speak. Speech impediments, intoxication, reliance upon slang, are just a few. No one always uses proper grammar.

A college student invites his date in for…whatever…

“Welcome, Cordelia to my humble abode. Though only a lowly scholar just beginning my academic journey, I work hard to keep my domicile tidy. I am fastidious by nature, and my Spartan lifestyle lends itself well to that facet of my personality. Welcome and be at ease. I shall serve you ale or wine, whichever you prefer, and at our leisure we can plan our next move…”

versus

“Come on in. It’s a little cramped. But, at least I don’t have a roommate, right?”

“No, no, it’s cool,” she sounded nervous, which in turn made him nervous. How could he put her at ease?

“Um, I’ve got some beer and box-wine…” He opened the fridge and lifted out a box with gilded pink lettering and a plastic spout. He shook the box, listening to it’s over-sweet contents slosh around. “Yeah, there’s some left…”

3. Advances the plot

Like everything else in your piece, your dialogue should have more substance to it thant eh conversations Hank Hill and Boomhauer have while sipping warm American beer in their backyard. Not every conversation has to be a philosophical epiphany or treatise on a technological revolution. But, by the same token, dialogue can’t be about chewing bubble gum or eating the last cookie – unless it advances the plot!

“I had fish for dinner. After that, I ordered a martini and smoked a cigarette. It was good. I’d never had  Blackcloud Menthols before. After an argument with the hostess, I then paid the bill and got in the car.”

versus

“Can I bum a smoke? Yeah, I’m starving. I mean, I had an early dinner at Scaley Pete’s, ya know. I was havin’ a smoke, post-facto, and the waitress starts to change color. I shit you not. She turned grey and started to stretch out. People were screamin’, dishes breakin’, all of it. I grabbed my knife and thought ‘oh man, this is it.’ Before I knew, Mrs. Battleship-hips herself turned into a giant killer whale. She starts thrashin’ and snappin’ her jaws, that’s why my arm is all cut up. Anyway, I ended up tossing my smokes at her. Don’t ask why. I panicked…any way, I need a ride too…”